The English Language - Laugh a little!
(Especially for those for whom English is a second (or third) language.)
The English LanguageHave you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face itEnglish is a stupid language:
There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger,
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth.
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play, yet pay at a recital?
Park on driveways and Drive on parkways,
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy,
Of a language where a house can burn up asIt burns down,
And in which you fill in a form By filling it out,
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race(Which of course isn't a race at all) That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watchIt starts,
But when I wind up this observation, It ends.
On that note, I recently saw the following e-mail...Scrambled Words.
This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALA! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
The English LanguageHave you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face itEnglish is a stupid language:
There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger,
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth.
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play, yet pay at a recital?
Park on driveways and Drive on parkways,
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy,
Of a language where a house can burn up asIt burns down,
And in which you fill in a form By filling it out,
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race(Which of course isn't a race at all) That is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watchIt starts,
But when I wind up this observation, It ends.
On that note, I recently saw the following e-mail...Scrambled Words.
This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALA! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
